How to catch a cheating spouse with proof
Do you have a cheating spouse?
This is the question that goes through the mind of any individual who has raised suspicion about his/her spouse. Do I have a cheating spouse? This is a very painful and dreadful question to ask yourself, but if you have strong feelings that it may be happening to you, then most likely it is. Although the media may have planted this thought through shows like Cheaters and many instances blasted on social media of a cheating spouse; the signs that slap you in the face in your own relationship may be a strong indication that it’s your reality as well.
You can always assume that your husband may be cheating if he’s answering a random phone call late at night. Or you may think that your wife is cheating if she has shown a trend of late arrivals home from work. However, to be really sure of this, you may want to do your own investigation and not immediately assume that your partner is being unfaithful, as it can cause a strain on your relationship/marriage.
Signs your partner is cheating
It is understandable to think that your spouse is cheating when you see strange behavior, especially if the relationship seems a bit rocky at the time. Changes in your spouse’s habits and odd behavior may be very well linked to infidelity, so keep a very good eye on these things. While every situation is different and cheating can manifest itself in many forms, the following are definitely a few signs to consider as possible links to infidelity when they come up:
- A decrease in sexual intimacy and affection.
- Suspicious habits with their phone such as, changing the passcode, hiding the screen when receiving a notification, clearing the browser history, etc.
- Sudden changes in work schedule and coming home late from work.
- Constantly moving to a different room in the home that you’re not in.
- Making sudden improvements to their physical appearance and hygiene.
- Being less communicative and avoiding any conversation with you.
- Seems nervous everytime you try to have a talk.
- You sense indifference from your spouse and don’t seem interested in any activities with you, inside or outside the house.
- Excessive spending on unknown items and bills are not being paid.
- Leaving the house late at night, while you’re sleeping.
These signs may be the determining factor that your spouse is in fact cheating. However, it also may be a mirage, deceiving your sight and leading you to believe something that is not happening. So be very careful to go on accusing based on signs and gut feeling alone, without having the facts lined up.
Do not confront your partner until you find evidence
When you see signs of infidelity, your immediate reaction may be to confront your partner, but this may not be the best idea right away. Confronting your partner directly about how you feel, may not be the best idea without strong evidence. Your spouse may just simply lie to you and tell you that nothing is happening if you don’t bring solid proof to the table.
The next time they do it again, they will probably begin to be more careful and secretive with everything they do, to prevent you from discovering the truth. So don’t go on immediately accusing your spouse without the facts. Be prepared and emotionally ready with strong evidence before you bring it up at the dinner table.
There may be indirect conversations you may be able to strike with your partner concerning infidelity that may provide you some strong leads. This is a very delicate topic, especially if your spouse is actually cheating, so make sure that the conversation you have isn’t raising suspicions to them that you have concerns of infidelity. Be patient and look for signs in the conversation, because if they are or have been actively cheating, they will tell on themselves.
However, some people are very good at disguising and masking the truth, so make sure you are also doing your due diligence and research outside of these conversations, to find out what’s really happening.
How to conduct a cheating spouse investigation
It can be quite challenging to identify if a spouse is cheating, because they lie and take advantage of the trust that their spouse has in them. This allows them to easily disguise themselves and put on a mask to not get caught in the act. However, there is always a trail of signs left behind and if you become suspicious, it is your job to begin investigating and finding out if your intuition is telling you the truth about what is actually going on.
You may ask yourself “well, where do I begin my investigation?”. Below is a list of steps you can take towards your discovery:
- Check yourself for STD: Although this is something that should be done regularly, the best time to get tested is when you have suspicions that your partner is cheating. If the results come back positive and you have only been intimate with your partner, this may be a huge sign that your partner is being unfaithful to you.
- Look for receipts or random documents: Check around your home for receipts or any paperwork that seems suspicious to you. You can check in areas in your home where your spouse spends most of their time, in their vehicle or even in the trash. Anything you can find that doesn’t seem normal can be an indication that they are up to no good.
- Check bank statements: Seeing what your spouse is spending their money on can be a great way to find out if they’re cheating. Taking random restaurant or liquor store visits without your knowledge can be a major indication of this. Check their bank statements if you have access to this to verify any unusual activity.
- Check or set up a home security system: If you have a home security system, this may be a good way to see if you can find any unusual activity, especially while you’re at work. However, if you don’t have one, you may want to set one up in your home, but be very careful to not identify it as a means to discover infidelity in your relationship. Talk to your spouse about it to see if they are fine with it. If they seem resistant to the idea for no apparent reason, then this could be a sign.
- Check their phone records: If you’re under the same phone plan with your spouse, you can request a print out of call history and text history from your carrier. If not, see if your spouse receives a bill in the mail and check for any unusual activity.
- Check their cellphone: If you have access to their phone or can somehow gain access while it is left unattended, this may be one of the best ways to dig up some dirt. Go through text messages, email photos and random documents saved on the phone. Also check their browsing history or even GPS history to see where they have recently gone. Checking messages, comments and what has been searched on social media is also a good place to check. Be prepared to discover the worst possible, because this is where most of the dirt can be found.
- Follow them around: Your partner may leave at random hours of the night or times of the day without not knowing exactly where they are going. Get in your own car or find a way to get around and follow your partner. This is a good way to see if they are on their way to have an affair.
Hire a cheating spouse investigator
This may be too much work for you to do or perhaps you’re too scared to do it yourself. This is one of the reasons why there are professional private investigators who handle these types of investigations. You may have to go to the bank with this option, but it’s the professional way to go about it and it will alleviate the stress and fear of doing it yourself. You may be feeling too overwhelmed and stressed about your concerns anyways, so why not leave it to a pro, who can probably do a better job in digging up some dirt on your spouse.
Every situation is different, so the cheating spouse investigation may vary based on your needs. Be very specific and thorough with your private investigator, because they will need as much information as possible to do their research effectively. Keep in mind that there are laws in place, so they’re unable to take certain actions such as:
- Act as law enforcement
- Use wire tap
- Obtain cell phone records without consent
- Tamper with mail
- Trespass private property
- Hack personal accounts
However, here are some means they use to conduct their investigations:
- Search public records, such as run background check, social media and search engines.
- Set up hidden cameras and obtain access to private cameras to conduct surveillance.
- Use GPS tracking to track their every move and see where they’re going.
- Use a decoy to tempt the cheating spouse and see if they will fall for the bait.
- Work with other investigators and lawyers to help them with their investigations.
Hiring a cheating spouse spy or private investigator is definitely a solid means to obtain all the evidence you need to confront your spouse who is cheating on you. These are professionals, so they can conduct an investigation without the risk of your spouse finding out that you are monitoring them. Private detectives have a fiduciary responsibility when you hire them, so they will provide a truthful and accurate report of their findings.
Consider Confidential Investigations, inc to investigate your spouse and find out the truth about their secret activities. We will provide a free consultation if you need help. Just give us a call at 610-821-9112 to set up an appointment with us today!